The pressure of being a great parent and role model to your child can become overwhelming and down right exhausting at times. We all want to be that fun, loving, cool mom whom our kids trust and confide in with everything. I mean after all, we bend over backwards for them, right? We feed them, clothe them, bathe them, house them, teach them, love them, and nurse them back to health when they are sick. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Sometimes being a parent doesn’t always mean being the good guy… It means laying down the law. Not only do you have to lay down the law, you actually have to enforce it. Unfortunately, when you have to lay down the law and try to teach your child to grow up to be a decent and productive human being in society, it can come with the wrath of a little person.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Kind of cheesy, but I always found this to be true. That is until my sweet little angel learned to talk, and felt it necessary to crush my
Something I hear a few times a week from my beautiful 6 year old! I have heard it so much, I can’t really remember the first time she uttered those heartbreaking words but I do remember it hurt my feelings. I will not lie, I cried. Who wants to labeled as the “Mean Mommy”? Not me, that’s for sure. Unfortunately, I have come to learn that it comes with the territory.
I used to say such hurtful thing as a child, hell, even as an adult I have said some hurtful things to people. When I was little, my mom and my sister heard the phrase, “I hate you!” often. They weren’t the only ones. I said that to pretty much anyone who pissed me off. Embarrassingly, I have to admit that I have even said it to my husband in the heat of any argument. Did I mean any of it? No. Unfortunately anger gets the best of us sometimes and being human we tend to forget how fragile other humans are and that we truly can hurt someone with words.
I decided to interview my sassy little 6 year old to discover her true feelings about the phrase. She was such a great help and didn’t even complain about it.
ME – Why do you think I am mean?
KYLIE – Because you yell at me. (9 times out of 10, I raise my voice because I have had to repeat myself several times. Come on moms, you know how it is.)
ME – When do I yell at you?
KYLIE – When I am doing something wrong.
ME – Explain to me what is considered to be wrong.
KYLIE – When I don’t clean up or do what I am asked and backtalk.
ME – Do you really think I am mean or do you think I am trying to help you be a better person?
KYLIE – I think you are helping me be a better person.
ME – The other day when you were playing on the bleachers and I asked you to stop but you didn’t and I ended up
putting you in time out, was I being mean?
KYLIE – No.
ME – Why did I ask you to stop playing on the bleachers?
KYLIE – So I wouldn’t get hurt.
ME – When you say that I am mean, do you know that it hurts my feelings?
KYLIE – Yes.
ME – Why do you say it even though you know it is hurtful?
KYLIE – Because I am upset.
ME – Do you love mommy and daddy even when we have to discipline you?
KYLIE – YES!
So there you have it folks, the truth behind “You’re Mean!” and probably any other hurtful things our kids say, from the mouth of a 6 year old.
Parenting is not easy and it does not come with a handbook. As long as she knows why I’m hard on her at times and why she has to go to time out when she acts out of line, I’m doing my job. She understands that my job is to protect her and to teach her to be a good human being. She may not like it at times, she may get hurt feelings, and she may even be very angry about the situation, but at the end of it all, she knows that her daddy and I love her very much and only want what is best for her.
So fellow parents, try not to get offended when your child says hurtful things that crush your soul. Chances are, they don’t mean it, not to mention, that means you’re doing your job as a parent.